Revenge & Radeo

Revenge is adorable.

This is so cute! ^___^

say hi to 2013

Happy New Year

2013!!!

At Midnight, we say goodbye to 2012 and all it's crap and say hi to 2013 and all the joy I insist it brings. I really think 2013 may be my year. Not just because 13 is my favourite number, but also because there's nowhere to go but up. I have been somewhat meek despite all I've survived and meekness will no longer be a feature of my personality. I have only one resolution this year: NO BULLSHIT. I will not take crap from anyone, and I will not apologize for anything. I will do what I want, when I want and how I want - because I am me and I live for me and no one else. All my decisions will genuinely be my own and I will gladly accept reward or face consequence for anything I do. The past has never been further away than it is now. I have no regrets. I am content. I am at peace. 

I am ready to step forward, chin up, into the New World. 2013, here I come.

xx

Mister, Oh Mister...

I love what my man does to me. He makes me feel like we're the only people in the universe sometimes... ❤

teehee...

guinea piggies

Here are my babies, Tolstoy & Pushkin. Tolstoy is all tan and Pushkin is two toned. They are super sweet and make little Chewbacca-like sounds and it makes me giggle. <3

So long, BabyDoll...

It's been a while since I posted anything. I haven't been sleeping much. I have been eating too much. This does not make me happy.
I feel like such a failure in life. Walking around, trying to put on a happy face. I'm such an actress. I'm so good at it though. I think if I were ever to quit, no one would ever see it coming.

Leica

I want this so so bad.

past

I was in bed and trying to think of my romantic past and I realised I can't remember the names of almost all my past boyfriends. It's weird when you think you're totally falling for someone and years later you can't even remember their name! I guess that's life though... or maybe I've had too many boyfriends. O__o

look alive!

It's morning and I'm trying to get out if bed but I'm so so tired and my back hurts. I have to get up, do yoga, shower, eat soup/noodles (I'm on a noodle diet!) and do some work. but oh why can't I just lie here all day long???? >____<

*

look! It's my cats butt!!!!! o___O

birthday adventure!

We didn't get our tattoos. On my birthday, it was such a hot day, we just wanted to swim and chill. Y and her sis and myself all went swimming at a hotel and I did like a handspring in like, 4 feet of water... so, I hit my head real hard on the bottom of the pool and now I have a concussion. Also I fell in the parking lot and skinned my knee, bruised my leg and twisted my ankle. It was kind of funny because Y was like "Get up! No one saw!!!!!" It made me feel like some sort of celebrity who better not let the paparazzi get a pic of this because it's embarrassing I'm all dirty on the ground and there are like, pieces of gravel in my knee and blood is bubbling up and it's gross. But still it was hilarious as the same time - until the next day when I realised how much pain I was in and then it was all less funny.

STILL, it was the best birthday I ever had and Y gave me great, awesome gifts and a hilarious but lovely card and I kept it and put it on my wall for good memories. My brother and his girlfriend gave me a card of a rainbow puking unicorn, which I think might just be my definition of happiness. ^___^
And my mama and baba gave me a card of a bad ass smoking kitten and it reminds me of my kick ass awesome cats, although I would never let them smoke (in the house). o___O

It was the greatest birthday I've had, and I spent it with my awesome friend and her awesome sister and there were no fake friends around or annoying people I hate (most people fit into that category, I think). And it was fun, fun, fun till the pool took all my brain meats awayyyyy.... ;P

Robert Frost

Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening

Whose woods these are I think I know.   

His house is in the village though;   

He will not see me stopping here   

To watch his woods fill up with snow.   

My little horse must think it queer   

To stop without a farmhouse near   

Between the woods and frozen lake   

The darkest evening of the year.   

He gives his harness bells a shake   

To ask if there is some mistake.   

The only other sound’s the sweep   

Of easy wind and downy flake.   

The woods are lovely, dark and deep.   

But I have promises to keep,   

And miles to go before I sleep,   

And miles to go before I sleep.

-Robert Frost

I love that last stanza because it's like... I am morbid or rather I have these morbid curiosities and interests... I have a love/hate relationship with horror. I feel "close" to death (not like I'm about to die, but like I understand it very well) and so the thought of dying is like, not a huge deal to me. So that last bit is so special to me because it's like saying, "I can go deeper into this beautiful darkness... but I could get lost in it and I have promises to keep - things to do and people to see again and so I need to stay on my current path (life) and I have a long way to go before I die... I'll see the darkness then."

Does that make sense?

happy birthday to me.

My birthday is today. I honestly thought I wouldn't make it this far. Still don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing yet. (?)

So I'm getting a tattoo tomorrow (technically today but it's crazy early, so...) with my friend Y. So, I hope to post a photo of it this week sometime.

I've been really sick cuz I'm going off of a medication that's like, worse than going through heroin withdrawal. That's not an exaggeration. It's so dangerous and no one should be put on it. I get so mad at doctors sometimes, they can be so irresponsible. I used to respect them and only do what they say but at least 8/10 that's screwed me over so now - my body = my rules and that goes for what I put into it, including meds. My new doctor won't be happy I went off the medication, but it was that or suicide, so I think I made the logical choice.

So now it's my birthday and I'm still alive. I'm nervous about meeting my new doctor because there's so many bullshit stigmas that are attached to some of my disorders. You would think doctors of all people would know these things do more harm than good, but sadly, many don't. I hope she has no presumptions as to who I am or what I'm like. Even based on my diagnoses... I mean, everyone is different even if they share similar symptoms. I've never met a borderline who is like they are portrayed in the movies. Other than Girl, Interrupted. I mean, people say that Glenn Close played one in Fatal Attraction but that's bullshit. That chick was a psychopath. Borderlines or "beepers" as some call us... most of us love bunnies! :) That is just crazy.

Some crazy must be good because you have to be a little bit of a nutter to survive in today's world.
So Happy Birthday to crazy - but not rabbit boiling crazy - me.