happy birthday to me.

My birthday is today. I honestly thought I wouldn't make it this far. Still don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing yet. (?)

So I'm getting a tattoo tomorrow (technically today but it's crazy early, so...) with my friend Y. So, I hope to post a photo of it this week sometime.

I've been really sick cuz I'm going off of a medication that's like, worse than going through heroin withdrawal. That's not an exaggeration. It's so dangerous and no one should be put on it. I get so mad at doctors sometimes, they can be so irresponsible. I used to respect them and only do what they say but at least 8/10 that's screwed me over so now - my body = my rules and that goes for what I put into it, including meds. My new doctor won't be happy I went off the medication, but it was that or suicide, so I think I made the logical choice.

So now it's my birthday and I'm still alive. I'm nervous about meeting my new doctor because there's so many bullshit stigmas that are attached to some of my disorders. You would think doctors of all people would know these things do more harm than good, but sadly, many don't. I hope she has no presumptions as to who I am or what I'm like. Even based on my diagnoses... I mean, everyone is different even if they share similar symptoms. I've never met a borderline who is like they are portrayed in the movies. Other than Girl, Interrupted. I mean, people say that Glenn Close played one in Fatal Attraction but that's bullshit. That chick was a psychopath. Borderlines or "beepers" as some call us... most of us love bunnies! :) That is just crazy.

Some crazy must be good because you have to be a little bit of a nutter to survive in today's world.
So Happy Birthday to crazy - but not rabbit boiling crazy - me.